


Camping

by indivisible_soup



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Bisexual Male Character, Bisexuality, Blow Jobs, Explicit Sexual Content, M/M, Oral Sex, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Post-Hogwarts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-01
Updated: 2020-06-01
Packaged: 2021-03-03 02:54:07
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,357
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24497506
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/indivisible_soup/pseuds/indivisible_soup
Summary: Two married couples are camping together in early spring. After a rather nasty fight between Ron and Hermione, they end up switching tents, so wizards end up sleeping separate from their wives.
Relationships: Harry Potter & Ginny Weasley, Harry Potter/Ron Weasley, Hermione Granger & Ron Weasley
Comments: 2
Kudos: 57





	Camping

**Author's Note:**

> Editing by [Pyotia](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pyotia)

"Oh, REALLY?!" said Hermione. "Do you think those even can be called arguments?"

"Yes! And you know I'm right!" replied Ron in a raised voice. "You just can't admit it."

"Yeah, yeah... Maybe in the Land of Oz you would be right, and only there because you can never be wrong, can you? Maybe take off your green-tinted glasses and see reality for a change??"

Harry and Ginny looked at each other, their lips pursed as they were desperately trying not to start laughing and crying that the same time.

"Land of what? What glasses?" said Ron grimacing. "Stop speaking gibberish. When you have nothing to say, you always try to bury everything under some obscure terminology. Typical..."

"I'm surprised that English itself isn't obscure terminology for the likes of you, mister I-don't-need-to-go-back-to-Hogwarts-for-NEWTs."

"And? How would it have helped me? Huh? HUH?? ... You don't even have an answer to that!"

"Not everything has to be the means to an end!"

"Right... In that case go and start throwing the pebbles from this side of river on the other one. Live by what you preach."

"It's like I'm talking to a five year old... Not everything has to be taken to maxims or applied indiscriminately to every single thing! Nuances, Ron! Heard of them?"

Harry and Ginny leaned with their heads on each other and kept watching the waters of the churning river in the red light of the setting sun, listening to the bickering, that in times managed to drown the racket of the river.

"Merlin, I can't anymore," whispered Ginny after five more minutes of pointless arguments and pulled out her wand.

Harry looked at it for a second, understanding her intentions, then nodded and a moment later every sound was cut off. Harry always disliked this total encompassing silence such charms produced, but his best friends were starting to grind on his nerves as well. Both heard each other sigh in relief.

The four of them agreed on such trips to refrain from magic as much as possible. This was Hermione's idea and they followed it ever since they started camping several years ago. No magic and bare minimum of muggle technology. So besides their sleeping accommodations, which also were completely nonmagical, the most technological things were pack of matches, fishing gear, and things for cooking. Not even a flashlight - after all each of them had a wand for any emergency.

"Frankly I was already considering to start throwing rocks behind my back. Maybe I'd get lucky and hit one of them," said Ginny.

Harry grinned. "Considering what their fight started with? I'd start with this one" - he pointed at a fairly large reddish rock by the waterline.

Ginny shook her head in disbelief. "Yeah... Should I have known, I would've given my portion to them."

Ron and Hermione fought so damn often. It started a little over a year after they became an item. As Harry was watching them during the first few years of their relationship he was afraid that they were going to break up at any moment, which most likely would've lead to them not ending it on good terms, and Harry didn't want that. Oh, boy, how wrong he was. Year after year went by, they fought no less and then reconciled in a day or two like it never happened.

Harry sometimes wondered whether they did it for sport or something. Minor hurdles he had in his marriage with Ginny didn't even compare. Hermione or Ron, but often together as if they resonated on some special frequency, tended to explode over nothing and acted like two morons arguing over such trivial issues that it was almost comical at times; all the while not caring who was around them to witness everything. Good thing that this time besides the Potters, there was nobody around to see and hear them.

Harry was really glad that Ron and Hermione didn't have any kids, that would've been subjected to such parents. After all, it was Hermione who infected, or cured? The four of them from wanting to have kids. Otherwise such nice trips, discounting the past 20 minutes, wouldn't have been possible for the four of them to enjoy as often.

The Potters almost forgot about what was happening behind their backs as Ron stepped in front of them, unintentionally breaking the silencing charms, startling them with the sudden noises of nature returning all at once.

"Ginny, you're sleeping in the blue tent with Hermione tonight," said Ron a bit hoarsely.

Ginny raised her eyes and looked at him scathingly. "You know, you could've at least formulated this as a polite question. Something along the lines of - Ginny, would you mind bla-bla-bla..." Ron huffed. "Maybe if you were capable of that, then you two wouldn't fight as much."

"Huh? We barely ever fight. And she started it!" Harry softly nudged Ginny with his shoulder, letting her know not be pulled into an argument as well. Ginny gritted her teeth and gave him barely perceptible nod. "And it's not like it was my idea." Ron pointed back. Both turned and saw Hermione dragging one of the tents away from the other.

Harry turned back and looking at Ron took a few deep breaths, trying to calm himself. He barely contained himself from standing up and giving Ron a good smack on the back of his head. For the past three days the Grangers were a great example of the perfect couple, but after the four of them ate a nice dinner, the two of hotheads managed to find something to bicker about which quickly grew out of proportion until they found themselves in this predicament and not sleeping with their spouses.

Harry had long ago given up on trying to reconcile them after such fights, or even talk about it with either of them. After all, what was the point? Both always went back to their normal selves without any help from outside influences. It rarely took more than a few days, even on their worst fights. So after they played cards, while Ron and Hermione pretended they didn't know each other, Harry wished Ginny and Hermione good-night, and climbed after Ron into now their tent.

They talked about Quidditch, then Harry's work, then Quidditch some more. Ron was still playing for his favourite team that to this day hasn't shown much results, and despite Harry's passion over this game waning somewhat, it still was a frequent topic of discussion between them; especially now, with the next world championship looming over. Not that Ron had a chance of attending it in a role other than of a spectator.

Hearing rustling Harry raised himself up on his elbows, trying to see what it was, but it was pointless - all around him was total darkness.

"Is that... Are you wanking?" said Harry as he understood where the sound was coming from.

"Yep," said Ron nonchalantly, not even thinking about stopping. "Wanna help?"

Harry dropped back onto the makeshift pillow and without a word skidded a little closer to Ron, then put his hand over Ron's midsection. Ron took his hand away and Harry started to rub Ron's cock through the relatively thin material of Ron's sleeping bag.

Harry had held back until this point, but the words just came out of him without much thought, "You know, if you'd learn to give in sometimes, agree that you're wrong even if you don't feel wrong" - Ron huffed realizing what that was about - "then you'd be doing this with Hermione right now instead of me."

"I like your blowjobs as well."

Harry chuckled. "Blowjobs? Master of subtlety as always."

"Well... If you don't want to give me one..."

"Pfff... Yeah and when was the last time I refused to give you head?"

Harry pulled his hand off Ron's cock and started to unzip his sleeping bag all the way, then hearing Ron do the same. Harry then sat on his haunches beside Ron and touched his leg. He huffed realizing that Ron still hadn't took his pyjama-bottoms off, only pulled them down a little.

"Well?" said Harry pulling at the elastic band and letting it go back with a light snapping sound.

"Really? You can't even see them..."

Instead of answering Harry made a sound that should've resembled whistling, but since he hasn't learned to do it properly, it came out as a noise vaguely resembling an actual whistle.

"Okay-okay," grumbled Ron as he started to pull his pants off. Harry had a weird rule that any trousers or underwear had to be taken fully off before he would do more than a handjob. "Socks too? It's a bit chilly as it is."

"Nah, socks are fine..."

When Ron lay back Harry put his hand on Ron's leg and started to caress it slowly, going from the ankle almost to the groin and back. Harry never went right into it - what was fun in that? He gave Ron head rarely as it was. With each passing stroke his fingers were sliding more and more towards the inner thigh, getting closer and closer to the crotch, but never quite reaching it.

Ron knew better than to hurry Harry up. And it's not like he didn't enjoy the teasing as well. His cock was almost painfully hard as Harry's fingers finally reached his balls and then after lightly brushing over them, Harry's hand grasped the throbbing shaft.

"There's my little third best friend," Harry said softly, giving it a light squeezes, not quite stroking it yet.

"Merlin, Harry, I don't remember you calling my dick like that for a while."

Harry gave the cock in his hand a few light strokes and leaned down to it. He started slowly dragging the tip of his tongue along the underside of the shaft, feeling it twitch under his touch. Left to right and back, his tongue went, going from the very tip to the balls and back. Then light kisses followed. A few times Harry almost took the glans into his mouth, but then stopped and went back to what he was doing. Ron bit his lower lip, trying to keep himself asking Harry, the teaser, to go to business already.

After a little longer Harry stopped and looked at Ron. Although in the total darkness there was nothing to see, no matter how hard he tried. "Come on," Harry whispered with a bit of annoyance in his voice. "Uphold your end of the bargain."

Ron waited for a bit, feeling Harry's breath returning to tickle his cock, then he carefully reached out, as to not poke Harry in the eye accidentally, and combed his fingers through Harry's hair. "Good boy..."

Harry smiled, as a warm feeling spread in his chest after hearing those two simple words; he angled the cock upwards and finally put his mouth over it.

Ron kept petting Harry and whispering platitudes, which always was a good part of the fun for Harry. Not that Ron didn't like it himself, even though talking distracted him somewhat from the blowjob itself, which in turn had a positive effect of making him last longer. Overall, he decided that this small thing that he had to do was nothing in comparison to the sensations Harry's mouth provided as he bobbed his head, sucking quite greedily on the first few inches of his cock. Harry never tried to hide the fact how much he liked it.

Harry propped up Ron's balls and moved to suck at them. Harry himself never found much appeal at getting his own sucked, but doing it himself was a different story entirely; there was something incredibly gentle and intimate about it. Maybe because they were quite literally the most vulnerable part of male's anatomy... Harry never thought much about it, the important part was what he felt about it. And it felt niiiiice... The sack, unlike the area around it, was completely hairless. Harry knew, that it was Hermione who insisted for Ron to keep himself groomed and like this; fortunately for Harry, she also wasn't big fan of getting stray pubes in her mouth.

Harry forgot the time and spent several minutes with the balls alone, and when he finally decided to switch his attention back to the main thing, he found the cock in semi-hard state, and huffed. "You can say if you don't like it."

"I like it alright. But it's not like I can stay hard when you don't even touch it. I'm not twenty anymore."

Harry smirked. His own cock didn't have to be touched for it to remain hard ever since he grabbed Ron's through the sleeping bag. Harry sucked the soft cock almost fully into his mouth, letting its tip touch the back of his mouth, and probing with his lips and caressing with tongue, let it slowly expend back to hardness. Almost pushing Harry's head away in its wake. The feeling of a cock filling up within his mouth was like nothing else and Harry was now glad that he neglected it to the point of it going soft; almost always at the beginning of a blowjob Ron was already fully hard.

Harry smiled as much as he was able to with a cock in his mouth as he nonstop bobbed his head when Ron whispered how he liked the softness of Harry's lips and what a good job he was doing. Harry sometimes cursed himself for the way he liked verbal praise, particularly during things like this. On some level he felt embarrassed at how childish it seemed to enjoy it, especially after asking Ron for it so bluntly. On the other hand asking for something in return felt quite right, and almost a mature thing to do. Harry, in the past few years had tried to get rid of categorizing the things he liked as childish or mature, thinking that it wasn't mature of him to think in such dichotomies. The circular logic hasn't escaped his notice.

Harry heard Ron's breathing getting more shallow and soon Ron himself said that he was getting there. Not that Harry needed to hear this to know. But it still was nice to be warned, since on rare occasions Harry wasn't able to pick it up.

Harry suddenly froze with Ron's cock half-way in his mouth, hearing steps from outside. He immediately sat up straight and covered Ron's with the flap of his sleeping bag.

"Harry, are you asleep?" said Ginny's whisper momentarily.

"Not yet," Harry whispered back. "Wanted something?"

"I need to pee, can you come with me?"

"Coming out..." he said, wiped his mouth with his sleeve and rubbed both hands on his pyjamas.

Harry knew that tonight there was barely a sliver of the Moon visible, and with their no-magic rule... Harry readjusted his erection so it wouldn't be too apparent, not that in such darkness it was much of a problem. Grabbed his light parka and unzipped the entrance-flap. There was no need to say anything to Ron, he heard everything himself.

Harry lazily tucked the shoelaces instead of tying them up and emerged from the tent. He looked around - there was not a lot to see with the stars and a tiny part of the Moon being the only source of light. Ginny stood waiting in the similar to his outfit - pyjamas and the exact same parka only two sizes smaller. Harry put his on and they slowly went in the direction of the forest. Harry had his wand in a holster of his left forearm, of course, but he didn't want to use it unless it was absolutely necessary. And there was enough light for them to see, even though it was enough only to distinguish shapes and outlines.

When Ginny deemed it far enough Harry let her hold onto his hand to keep her balance as she crouched. As she took a few moments to relax, she noticed a tent in Harry's pyjama-bottoms that was almost in front of her face. She looked up and said, "So that's why you weren't already asleep."

"Yep," said Harry and a second later he heard a stream hitting the earth.

This was the cause of the one real fight they have had which almost led to a break up. After the dust settled down it turned out that Ginny was bothered for the most part about the fact that Harry fancied Ron AND her, which, after some explaining, she understood wasn't the case. And now Harry was free to give Ron head whenever he wanted. He had just to keep under wraps. Harry still didn't know Hermione's stance on the whole thing though, and Ron avoided the topic.

As Ginny was done and they turned to go back, she tapped his cock, making it bob a little within the confines of his thin pants. "Want me to help you to get off?"

"Nah... I wasn't done with Ron, and I don't like it as much after cumming."

"Okay then."

They were silent until they reached the clearing by the shore where their camp was standing.

"Well, happy sucking," she said with a chuckle.

"If Ron hasn't finished by himself and sleeps already. I almost made him cum before you came."

"Sorry..." Harry waved his hand dismissively and Ginny said, "A good-night kiss?"

Harry furrowed his eyebrows. He was about to remind her that Ron's cock not so long ago was in his mouth, as Ginny crouched before him, pulled down his pants and pecked him right at the leaky tip of his still hard cock.

"I also wouldn't mind giving you a similar kiss," said Harry grinning as he helped her to stand back up.

"Ah-ah-ah..." she said, putting her finger over Harry's lips. "Tonight you'll have to be satisfied with giving similar kiss to Ron."

Harry leaned in to her and Ginny was about to protest, as Harry instead rubbed his cheek onto hers and whispered almost into her ear, "Love you."

Ginny's cheeks reddened as they always have after hearing him say these words despite how many years they had been together, and she replied saying the same. She then pulled back and slapped Harry's bum lightly. "Go and enjoy giving a good and sloppy good-night kiss to Ron's pecker."

Harry nodded and they split, each going to their own tent, which Hermione dragged this evening to be about twenty of Hagrid's steps apart.

After zipping shut both vertical and horizontal zippers, and not hearing a sound from behind, Harry turned and asked in a whisper, "Has Morpheus claimed you yet?"

"Pfff... Poetic much? And it's not like I can fall asleep being so horny."

"You might've finished yourself off."

"Isn't it your job? Ts-ts-ts... Slacking off at the very first opportunity. Typical Potter... Just like your father... Ten points from Gryffindor. "

Harry grinned, shuffled to his previous place, and after finding it by touch grabbed Ron's now once again hardening cock.

He didn't start the foreplay he liked so much all over again, but went straight to business. His own cock, that had been hard for quite a while, also spurred him on to resume right where they were interrupted.

Only a minute passed since the continuation of the blowjob as Harry pulled back and said. "Sorry that I left you like that when you were so close." Ron huffed at how ridiculous the reason for this apology was. "As a restitution... Want to take matters into your own hands?"

Ron grinned - Harry always called it that in such peculiar way. "Wouldn't say no to that..."

Harry shuffled out of the way. Ron skidded upwards and turned himself diagonally across the tent. Then Harry lay down on his stomach between Ron's legs. Ron's cock had the most convenient curve downwards, which was especially handy when Harry was giving deep blowjobs with Ron standing upright or like this. For a while Ron was even self-conscious about it, but both Harry and Hermione, quite independently, managed to convince him that it looked fine, Harry on his part even claimed that it looked better that way, more so if in comparison with his own; but the last part Ron never agreed with.

In Harry's current position, he was also able to hump the sleeping pad, which was a nice addition; Harry was never able to touch himself with his non-dominant, it just felt too unnatural for him, the exact same thing was with holding Ron's cock with that hand.

With his ankles crossed in the air, because his knees were literally at the other corner of their quite small tent, Harry rubbed Ron's thigh, while slowly caressing the glans with his tongue and barely bobbing his head, with a little over an inch of the cock past his lips - if Ron wanted this, then he had to help.

Ron didn't make Harry wait long. At first he started with just scratching Harry's scalp gently, then gradually he began to take over control and guide Harry the way he wanted. Knowing Harry's penchant for taking it slowly, Ron was making Harry take a little bit more of his length only every few strokes, fighting his body's instinct to shove his cock down Harry's throat.

Ron tried to keep himself in check, and make it slow, but in not time he sighed contently, feeling Harry's chin finally pressing into his ballsack. Ron held him like that for a few long, for both of them, seconds, and then started moving Harry's head back and forth slowly.

"Ugh... Such a good boy, aren't you, Harry..." said Ron, slowly fucking into Harry's throat. Ron readjusted a bit, to control Harry with one hand, he moved his other one to palm under Harry's jaw, his forefinger touching Harry's adam's apple, for a minute feeling how it moved a little when his cock went right into Harry's throat. "Why don't you be even a better boy and do your neat little trick for me?"

Harry didn't give any indication that he heard him, but there was no need. And as Ron once again made Harry swallow his whole cock up to its root and held him in place, Harry exerted himself, being on the edge of his limits, pulled his tongue out from under the shaft and started to caress Ron's balls. Feeling Harry's tongue on his sack, Ron praised Harry and began to make those mini-thrusts while being buried all the way in Harry's mouth.

Ron almost forgot himself and was brought back by the light tapping on the side of his right thigh; he immediately released the hold on Harry's head and Harry pulled back with a wheeze. Harry scrunched his face as he tried to hold back a cough, rapidly making swallowing motions that always helped him in such situations.

"Sorry, mate, too far?" asked Ron meaning of course the duration at which he held Harry's mouth fully impaled on his cock, and not the depth. And Harry, of course, knew it.

Harry cleared his throat and said, "Nah... You know this just happens sometimes."

"Merlin, how I like that you can do this... But just tap it out before it gets too much."

"I thought I had it under control," said Harry and captured the cockhead with his mouth once again.

They had an agreement that tapping to the right leg meant for Ron to release Harry right away, and to the left - to take it easier without a need to stop. At first, after they came up with it, Ron had difficulties to remember which leg meant what, particularly in the heat of a moment, and irregardless of the thigh he was tapped at, he released Harry. But now he didn't even think about it - it came as a second nature to him. Especially because he also agreed to the exact same code with Hermione.

It didn't take long after that, in a few minutes while being all the way down Harry's throat, with a muffled grunt Ron let out the first spurt of cum. He had to make a conscious effort to pull back, knowing that otherwise Harry would not be happy.

As Harry was released, he immediately pulled back until just the glans were in his mouth, grabbed the wet cock and started stroking it as more and more cum filled his mouth, assaulting his taste-buds just the way he liked it.

After the last drop left Ron's now already softening cock Harry swallowed, but didn't take the cock out of his mouth. In this position it was convenient to do one of his other favourite things and let it shrink inbetween his lips. All the while Harry gently humped the pad he was on.

After Harry got up, Ron moved back to his half of the tent and skidded a little downwards. The second and most important part of the deal was to let Harry finish into his mouth. Ron never gave Harry head or even touched his junk with his hands. The only moments when Harry's cock sometimes touched Ron in any way were the few seconds when Harry was cumming.

Harry sat on his haunches beside Ron's chest with his pyjamas pulled down and began wanking quite energetically. Despite this being the first seconds of him touching his hard cock since morning, when he had a quicky with Ginny, he felt almost on the verge. The disgusting and amazing, Harry long ago stopped trying to reconcile two of these seemingly contradictory words applied to one thing, taste in his mouth, that still lingered, only added fire to the flame.

Within a minute Harry stood up on his knees, his head pressing into the fabric of the tent and mumbled that he was almost there, his right hand working furiously. Ron quickly raised himself on his elbows and Harry by feel grabbed the back of his head, and guided him somewhat closer. Generally Harry finished in Ron's mouth without as much as touching him, but here and now, where they weren't able to see each other, this wasn't an option. And the moment Ron wet lips, which he licked a second ago, enveloped Harry's glans, Harry exploded.

It was only a few seconds, but what seconds they were... As Harry felt the tip of Ron's tongue tickle the underside of his cockhead as with spurt after spurt he filled his best friend's mouth with cum. Maybe it was because it happened much more seldom, but this felt so much different from finishing in Ginny's mouth.

Ron hated semen. But getting an amazing blowjob in return of a few seconds of tasting the substance of a questionable consistency, was more than a fair trade. And after years he stopped complaining even in his own thoughts. Ron held his breath, without even realizing it, as the first thick spurt of cum hit the back of his mouth, several of no less plentiful ones followed in quick succession before dying out just as abruptly. Ron gulped it down after Harry pulled the tip of his cock out of his mouth, and was done thinking about it, knowing that the weird taste would disappear within a minute.

Ron felt a little jealous that Harry always came way-way more than him. And he was reminded of that fact each time Harry finished in his mouth. Even if he wasn't able to see it with his own eyes - he still knew it. On rare occasions that they just wanked together and finished on the floor, which wasn't a problem thanks to magic, was all the visual proof that he needed.

Harry stood still, motionless for a little bit longer, feeling how his heartbeat gradually slowed down, leaning with his head on the side of the tent so that the opposite side was raised off the ground a little. Ron knew that if he were able to see Harry, then he would've seen him smiling like an idiot now.

Harry finally dropped back down and said his thanks. Ron as always said that by all the math it was only Ron who had to thank Harry.

After they lay back down Harry without hesitation put one leg over Ron's and he cuddled up to him. "Good night."

"Night, mate," said Ron, drawing his sleeping bag over himself, partially covering Harry as well.

***

Harry and Ginny walked around a giant boulder and Harry pointed at Ron and Hermione, who were carelessly strolling through the forest some three dozens steps ahead of them while holding hands, and shook his head with a sigh. Ginny shrugged, reading his mind almost verbatim. That was to be expected - the Grangers slept it over and now would pretend that yesterday's events never took place even if asked. Which was a bit silly, but Harry never complained - the important thing was that they were once again on good terms with each other.

Hermione readjusted her grip and intertwined her fingers though Ron's, and said, "I liked how you accused me of forgetting my own birthday."

Ron chuckled. "More like reminded you about that. But you also weren't too bad." He grinned. "Although some wizard named Oz with green glasses? You really shouldn't make thighs up on the go as much."

"No-no, it's from a real children's book," she said deciding that there was no need to correct him. "Muggle one. Harry is bound to know the reference."

"Ah, yes? Well, okay then... On the other hand, it's not like they paid much attention. Think they might've cast silencing charms by that point."

Hermione huffed. "I can't believe they broke the rule so flippantly."

"I'm sure that it was either that, or they were going to stun one of us."

"Or both," she said with a grin.

"Doesn't matter. Even though I was a little hoarse afterwards, I had fun anyway."

"Me too," she said and then pouted demonstratively. "But unlike me, you also had fun afterwards."

Ron smiled from ear to ear. "Yep, indeed I have. Harry almost gave me two blowjobs."

Hermione grinned at the peculiar wording and after glancing back to make sure that were indeed out of the earshot she asked, "Almost?"

"Well, I was about to finish as Ginny wanted something from him. Harry left for fifteen minutes or so."

"I don't remember her leaving. Must've been asleep already."

"On the other hand, after Harry returned he let me face-fuck him. Saying how sorry he was for the interruption. You know him." A flicker of irritation went over her face, and Ron noticed it. "What? Still?"

"I know I'm wrong, but just can't help it, you know? Whatever else he's doing better than I, I'm alright with, but... I mean, surely I get way more practice than he, so I should be able to do it without any magic at least as well as Harry."

"That's your muggle upbringing speaking. Nothing's wrong with using a bit of magic now and then. It doesn't invalidate anything."

"I know... I know it in my mind. I just don't feel it."

"And Harry gags sometimes as well."

"And how much did he gag yesterday?" Ron hesitated. "Yep. Just as I thought..."

"You're looking at it wrong. And overall, why compare yourself to Harry on just that front? Keep going then..." Hermione looked at him a little confused. "You might as well compare your chests. And since last time I checked - Harry has no tits, so you're the winner. Congratulation."

Hermione chortled. "Thanks."

"Do you think they might be onto us?" Ron said and gave himself a mental praise for managing so smoothly, in his opinion, to change the subject.

"Nah... They either figured it out years ago and just play along, or they never will. I put my money on the second one."

"Yes, but yesterday's" - Ron made air-quotes with one free hand - "I ate one more marshmallow than you - is a new low for a cause. Harry even tried to reason with me last night about it. And he rarely bothers anymore."

Hermione chuckled. "Just the first thing that came to mind. This made everything even funnier."


End file.
